Lunacy
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
3:17PM - Liverpool
To 96 and their families you will never walk alone, you are always in our hearts. Justice and an apology for the 96.
Friday, January 23, 2015
4:39PM - The Passing of a Parent.
My father died on the 13th of January and I don't know what I feel about his passing. I haven't seen my father for several years and for most of them he has been in a home (for his own safety) with dementia. Also my parents have been divorce since the late eighties and my father remarried not that he had much interest in us when he was married to my mother. My father had very strange ideas shall we say on what it meant to be a father, in short to him it meant having other women, having children with said women,not providing for the family of the women he had married to the point that we were really a single parent family when such things were unheard of; my father was the original man who went out for a newspaper and didn't come back for six months. But for thirty years he was married to my mother for good or ill until in 1988 she finally had enough and divorced him and he left our house.
As I say after that I saw him in frequently and rarely did those meetings end well, but that said he was my farther and in some ways I feel sorry for him he was a man who threw away a good life if not an exciting life for a life that ended up with him alone (his second wife left a couple of years after marrying him when she realized he spun a good tail but was skint, I guess they are divorced) Anyway a few year back he ended up in a nursing home close to where we live but now his dementia was such that he didn't know anyone who visited him, so I didn't visit him. There were many reasons why I didn't visit him but the main reason was that even though he was a not a good father had I seen him in the home I would have insisted that my mom and I take him out of the home and look after him and that would have been unfair on my mom. So I stayed away, I have no regrets that I didn't see him and in my heart I'm glad that he has died, his dementia was such that he had no quality of life so it is better that he has passed on. The sad thing is I can't just grieve for the good things I know about my farther and what he contributed to my life because the bad stuff was bad, it went to the heart of what it means to be a father so it out weighed all his kindness and the strength he gave because he didn't love any of us enough to take care of us and left my mother to raise us and earn the money to keep us. And she did a bloody marvelous job, but it would have been so much more had my father worked with her instead of against her all the time.
So on 6th February I will go to his funeral and maybe I will shed a tear to two for the man he could have been instead of the man he was while I wish him peace.
confusedSaturday, November 8, 2014
12:07PM
Dear Santa,
I am writing to let you know I have been naughty...and it was worth it you fat judgemental bastard.
Love Lizxx
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
4:07PM - What constitutes a friendship...
A year ago this month I had a row with my friend of ten years at the time I was really angry with her but in a couple of days I relented realised I had been unfair on her and sort her forgiveness. However she wouldn't talk to me she just totally ignored me no matter how I tried to sort things out, this infuriated me we are two adult women why couldn't we talk things out and sort the matter, but no she wouldn't talk to me. I got more annoyed the more she ignored me and emailed and texted things I didn't mean because I was so frustrated by her refusal to communicate with me in any way.
Finally she did contact me and she told me the only way she wanted me as a friend was that if I didn't email or phone or text her without her first contacting me her reason being I expected too much of her she didn't want to answer emails, she didn't want to answer texts etc if she didn't feel like it. I was so contrite about my behaviour I agreed to this and waited till she contacted me. Nothing, she didn't contact me, finally I sent her an email basically for her to confirm the fact that we were no longer friends. She replied finally saying that she didn't want me out of her life but unless I could accept that she was not going to keep in touch unless she felt like it then she couldn't be friends with me.
I am left wondering what constitutes a friendship? Am I mad in expecting someone to reply to an email or text within a reasonable amount of time, especially if you have asked how are you? in said email or text. I am really stupid apparently because I thought it was normal that we would Skype once a week, given she was in the USA and I was in the UK. But apparently friends don't do that even when said friends have traveled all over the world together been to one another's house and at one point so called friend was spending most weekends living at my house when she was working in Prague because she was lonely. Oh and the other thing I did wrong was offer her a home when it looked like she was going to be homeless (all at my expense)
So Iam at loss what is a friendship exactly, what is it made of, because the examples I have seen in my life don't run along the lines that my ex-friend things a friendship should run along.
The sad thing in all this is that if I look at it honestly I was used for ten years for cheap holidays etc that in truth she was never my friend and I was just too stupid to see her for what she is someone who uses someone and gives little to nothing in return.
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
3:45PM - 25-15.06-96
Justice for the 96, "You will never walk alone" Respect to your families let them be strong in their fight for the truth.
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
2:42PM - New Years Eve
Can't wait to be rid of this God awful year, it has been the second worst year in my entire life, it was only topped by the year my brother was murdered. I just hope that next year is better ot I wont be here come next NY.
Saturday, December 21, 2013
7:18PM - To the People of Panam Flight 103 and Lockerbie...
25 years have passed since evil was delivered on you,not the religious hell and damnation kind of evil, but the cold vicious self serving evil of small minded bigoted people who put their pride before the precious short life we have as human beings. Dreams and wishes snachted away and smashed to feed some sick slighted pride that believes they had the right to seek revenge on those just going about the business of their ordinary lives.
I think of you this night as I did 25 years ago and my thoughts go out to you I know what you suffer and my heart hurts for you as you suffer the hurt that can never heal.
Respect, peace and love to you and your loved ones.
sadMonday, April 15, 2013
4:43PM - 15.06 for the 96
15.06 the match between Liverpool and Nottingham Forest was stopped at 15.15, 41 people could still have been saved if the fucking bastard police had not been covering their collective fucking arses, damn you all to hell.
Remembering the 96 today, those 96 people who went to a football match and never came back, breaking their families hearts devastating their lives but never crushing their spirit or their fight for justice may the strength of millions be with you always...JUSTICE FOR THE 96 THE TRUTH is out there now.
And as Thatcher the cxxx is buried tomorrow let us not forget she allowed this cover up to stand unchallenged she believed the lies about the 96, suffer heels fury Thatcher you bitch.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl
Sunday, March 3, 2013
1:25AM - Failure to Perform to Standards of Society...
(When society keep shifting the rules of the game to suit their own intellectual point if view, in short if you don't fit into their little pigeon hole then you will be judged and found wanting because its the only way they can cope with you)
So I haven't updated here in a long time, mainly because I have had a near suicidal bout of depression (one day it will get me, not that, that bothers me any longer my only hope is that my mother has passed on before it does) and of course that bout of depression has led to a complete withdrawal from life. I tend to come home from work which takes all my energy, shovel drugs down my throat to block out the pain of life and go to bed. And in an odd way I am quiet happy, of course I'm loaded on drugs but hell that is so much better then engaging with society in any meaningful way.
So while in this haze of serotonin uptake balancers a few things got through to me.
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Wednesday, September 12, 2012
hopefulWednesday, August 8, 2012
11:05PM - Song of the day..Wed 8th
Song of the Day: Handel's Lascia Ch'io Pianga sung by Cecilia Bartoli...for me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=peJxkzPS
enthralledMonday, August 6, 2012
11:16PM - Song of the Day for Monday.
Song of the day: 'Au Fond du Temple Saint'. By Bizet No one sings it like Bryn Terfel http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-rDRa-5
And now book of the week. I have a habit of reading more then one book at a time usually three are the minimum so on the go at the moment are...
Parades End by Ford Maddox Ford... (repeat read, well OK its like 20 years since I read it but I didn't need a push from Mr Cumberbatch staring in the mini series to get me to read it, might have more to do with the fact I rather like Ford Maddox Ford's granddad's art)
Stuff by Terry Pratchett Saved it up for lead up to DW con.
Betrayal of Trust by Susan Hill Another brilliant Simon Serrailler story.
calmSunday, August 5, 2012
11:37PM - Song of the Day...
The Guitar Song by Texas for that special someone you love or what to love...link to the song for those who don't know it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUeON9by
happy11:33PM - Andy Murry...At last!
I so please for Andy Murry, to have been devastated as he was just 28 days ago and now to be a Gold medal Olympian just goes to show you can do it when the luck is with you and finally all that hard work paid off, well done Mr M.
pleasedFriday, July 27, 2012
8:18PM - Song of the Day...
Has to be Heroes by David Bowie from Benedict onwards and to everyone behind the scenes, heroes one and all.
excited7:40PM - BBC's Coverage of the Olympics...
Was opened by the country's National Treasure that is Benedict Cumberbatch the Sherlock of this generation and if you missed it sad for you.
But here you go enjoy the most enigmatic voice ever introduce the games coverage then weep other countries that he is not your national treasure...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEo-xDHE
calm yeah right!Thursday, July 26, 2012
10:19PM - Song of the Day...
Haven't done Song of the Day for a while, been a bit busy with one thing and another, like car dying and going to car heaven and well I cried(yes cue for ridicule)So anyway back on track today.
Song of the day today is Paul Weller's "You do Something to Me" and its dedicated to all Cumberbatched out there.
contemplativeSaturday, July 21, 2012
10:49AM - Once again...
RE: The Denver Shootings:
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"Liberty consists in the freedom to do everything which injures no one else; hence the exercise of the natural rights of each man has no limits except those which assure to the other members of the society the enjoyment of the same rights. These limits can only be determined by law."
Must more peole have their lives broken just to feed someones ego.
annoyedFriday, July 13, 2012
12:36AM - Cheltenham Festival....
Just got back from Cheltenham, Poetry and Music with readings from Benedict Cumberbatch and like everyone who attended I got to meet Mr C had a chat with him while he signed my ticket, he is so sweet but I spoilt our chat by telling the truth...
Mr C, Hello you have got to be Spanish, what's your name
Me: Liz, sorry not Spanish, I get my dark looks from my Welsh dad.
Mr C: Welsh is good.
Me: My dad thinks so...
We spoke about the readings and exchanged the usual thank you for reading, thank you for coming stuff and I shuffled off, kicking myself for not being Spanish or erudite.
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